Overheard at the ER

We are no strangers to the Emergency Medical facilities around town.  I should not be shocked by anything I overhear, and yet I found myself dumbfounded yesterday.  Partly because it was at a children's hospital.  Mostly because it was an adult who was saying it.

Before going any further, I will tell you my kiddios are all well and good.  The van door had closed completely with Little C's hand inside of it yesterday.  It seemed only prudent ("shrewd in the matters of practical affairs") to have it x-rayed.  Turns out there is nothing broken.  Just some bruising.  Now on to the real story...

A boy of about 12 was there for hand x-rays as well.  He appeared to have some contusions and minor lacerations on his hand and face.  I was thinking bike accident.  I think he was probably riding his bike past the house of a girl from his English class.  See, she helped him with an assignment and he developed a crush on her right at the end of the school year and he is worried that if he goes all summer without seeing her she will forget all about him and there is little chance of getting lucky enough to have a class with her again let alone sit close enough to rekindle the friendship.  Sigh... But the sidewalk in front of her house is a little rough and he was peeking back over his shoulder when he hit a section heaved up by the massive roots of a diseased Ash tree.  He should have seen it because it has the trunk marked to be cut down because of the Emerald Ash Boring Beetle.  But, as I said, he was looking back because he thought he saw her in the window.  Down he went!  But, and this is the exciting part, from the window she saw him take the diving header and ran outside to help!  She got him some ice and walked his bike home for him.  They had a nice conversation on the way and, just before she left him at the end of his driveway, she gave him a peck on the cheek and told him to call her.  She turned and ran all the way home.  Sigh...

I don't know if you know this about me, but I make up the backstory for strangers all the time.  If you are ever stopped behind me at a red light I will be watching you in my rear-view mirror making up the dialog to the terse, one-sided conversation you are having with the person in the passenger seat who has her head turned away from you leaning on the window.  You do NOT want to know what she is thinking right then.  Which reminds me, stop honking at me already, it takes some attention to rewrite your life story up to this point.  I see the light turned green and I'm moving already!

Our young hero was not as lucky as my Little C because it turned out he broke his hand.  We were walking out at the same time and I was in the middle of having pleasant thoughts about my child being fine and also maybe our hero will get a visit from the girl because she is worried about him and they will go for a walk to get a slushy or something.  In my head I was going on about budding and innocent first love when the sound effects kick in.  You know the one, the needle screeching across a record to signify an abrupt change in tone or understanding.  And this is what I hear:

mom: "Does that kid know who your mama is?"

boy: "I dunno.  But I told him who my daddy is."

mom: "If he knows anything then he'll be scared.  Your daddy's out looking for him now."

And it all comes into focus for me now.  There was no sweet crush on the girl who edited his paper for him.  It was a fist fight with another kid.  And now our "hero's" bad-ass dad is going to look for a child for what?  I am tempted to spin it again.  To think that maybe the father wants to know that the other child is not hurt.  To have a conversation with the boy's parents, and mediate a conversation between the boys to clear up the misunderstanding.  Maybe his goal is a peaceful resolution.  But probably not.

And I know I am a fierce mother when it comes to my children being hurt or wronged.  But never can I imagine myself plotting revenge against a child.  It makes my heart ache.    

Sigh

Hair 2.0

And here it is without the "beachy waves."  The bottom edge is straight but the layers are stacked up a bit.  Thanks for asking, "mom."

Invisible Woman

Ok. It is not just a fluke or an imagined injustice. I have had MUCH shorter hair for 3 days and only one person outside of my immediate family has even noticed it. WTF? (BTW, Moose loves it.)

I could see if it was maybe a mole removed from the back of my hand, or my tooth whitener lightened my choppers half a shade. Those are things not worth noticing. But a random radical hair change? Most of these people have only ever known me with long hair.  Long.  My hair was past my bra in the back!

My only conclusion is I am the invisible woman. Did any of you ever see that sad movie in school or at church called "Cipher in The Snow?" (Anyone who grew up in Utah has seen it for sure!) I am the Cipher!  I might as well have fallen off the bus into a snow bank.  And my neighbor was that favorite teacher.  And the parents at baseball are the other students.  And you all, you all (um, Jen and Lorraine) are my stepmom who was the only one who ever really knew me.

I guess it is a good thing that I have mellowed into an Introvert as I've grown up. But there is still that little bit of Extrovert that rears its pointy ears and hollers, "Look at ME!!!  I cut my hair!"

It's a Matter of Trust

Trust is not something I bestow lightly. I am reserved in many ways even with friends. So what does it mean that I can walk in to my salon, plunk myself down in a chair, and say "cut off whatever you want to cut off...try something new" ?  And then (and this part is even more amazing than the fact that this change was not planned) I remained perfectly calm while she grabbed the back of my hair and just whacked off a significant chunk before moving on to my color.  I really do mean she just whacked off a hunk of my hair.  The actual cut did not come until after the color was done.

I hadn't even thought about doing anything different until I walked in to the salon. It was a decision made on the spur of the moment in the heat of summer. I don't think Amy's adorable yellow sundress had anything to do with it, but it's possible.  She was looking very seasonal.  Mostly I think it is that she has been cutting my hair for a couple of years and she has never steered me wrong.  She has never promised anything she couldn't deliver.  And has never tried to pass a cut off as low-maintenance (which I require) when it really needs to be worked daily (which I realistically could never pull off).  I am even more impressed that she sculpted a terrific cut when, in the middle of sitting there with foils on my head, she received a phone call with some very sad news.  She is the consummate professional.  And I mean that in the "highly skilled and professional" way with the accent on the first syllable.  Not so much the way where the emphasis is on the third syllable.  (Although she did look very cute today in that dress!)

So here I am six inches shorter with the color I love (but don't get retouched often enough).

Bad example...again

Gin and tonic mix well with many things. Farm implements and tennis balls are not two of them.

(DISCLAIMER: no mammals, amphibians, reptiles, or avians were hurt during the production of this piece. Can't be so sure about insects.)

So, I thought since Moose took the three kids to the grocery store with him last evening it would be a good time to quickly mow the front lawn before the weekend. I drive a big-ol' John Deere and I don't use a trimmer. However (you knew there had to be one), having had cocktails earlier, maybe it wasn't the best time to be zooming around atop a sharpened propeller. I will now list for you the reasons I have come to this conclusion.

1. I still drove at my usual speed (the rabbit setting not the turtle) but it was hard to corner when I was trying not to spill my beverage.
2. My usual mow pattern had to change because of a new flowerbed.
3. And also some grass areas being seeded.
4. And while I was super careful not to mow over the hose, the little flat of impatient seedlings in the shade of a pine tree was not so lucky.
5. Neither was Olly's collection of tennis balls he carefully places in the grass around the edge of the playground mulch. Sorry about that, boy. Please stop staring at the garbage can like I tossed a loved one in there. I said I would get you some new balls!
5. But mostly, it is because when the debris landed in my drink I didn't even care and I swallowed it all with the lime seeds. Kack!

Brain Teaser

This one is sent to us from Dr. Fancypants.

The Problem: How to remove the fly that managed to wedge itself in the safety net of a trampoline?

The Catch: Do not harm the fly.


Any ideas?

Someone needs to intervene!

Whatever was it that made me think I could resist one of these bambini?



Resistance is futile. Whatever mama-hormone thing I have surging in my veins has rendered me powerless against the sight of a nursing face like that. The only question remaining is Do I want a blonde or a brunette?

Oh, dear

So I cannot find my camera.  I have been snapping stills on our video camera though they are stuck in there.  Good thing it has a large memory card because I cannot figure out how to spring the pics from their digital prison.

And now I need to figure it out because our friends from Norway are arriving this week for their summer stint in town and I dearly want pics of our kids together.  Pictures I can actually do something with!!

I hope you people over at the SONY help line have a big ol' pot of coffee brewing.  This could be a long night.

puppy update

Aren't they HUGE!!!  That is only 5 days of growth.  They are back at home with Dr. Fancypants and we sure do miss those little Rat Darlings!

Got nowhere on the name thing.  Only the big, yellow male has one.  Dave.   

Ta-Da!

Help us name the puppies!

Since they were born on D-Day...do I even have to explain?

We need 5 puppy-boy names and 1 puppy-girl name.  I am partial to Delilah myself, but am willing to entertain ideas.  

Please note initial judging will be done by the parental review board after which the pediatric delegation will have final say.  

The Puppies Are Here!

We delivered super early this morning by c-section at the emergency vet clinic.  And I do me WE.  It takes a village, you know!

Anyway, here are the initial stats:

Mama is the sweetest and most attentive mother!  She is feeling great and so pleased with herself.  She should be as she has one little girl and five boys.  Three yellow and three black.  Team yellow is certainly the noisiest and pushiest bunch.  But Mama moves them out of the way and lets team black have a chance to eat too.  Little girl is looking like she might be a bit curly.  They are tiny, and it would appear both parents were as well.  They actually look like a bunch of lab puppies in relation to he Mama's size, but they are little like kittens.  

Oh, and Geneva is COMPLETELY obsessed with the whole brood and is remaining entirely respectful of the whole situation.  But she would really like to help wash them.  Please.  Just one.  Maybe the little girl.  No?  Ok.  She'll just sit and stare.  Maybe now?  Please?

I will post pics later.  We have a dance recital and a baseball tournament today as well.  Busy.

still expecting...

That poor, poor mama.  No puppies yet.  Lots of starting and stopping of contractions, temp changes, panting, and various fluids coming out of anywhere you can imagine.  She can hardly walk.

Our own dogs are having interesting responses.  They keep checking on her and are being so sweet.  Geneva has given off eating out of empathy.  Olly keeps trying to discreetly spy on her while pretending he is not.  Tanner gets a good sniff in every hour or so and then lets her be.  The neighbor dog, Murphy, was completely taken over by the smell of doggy-milk on my pants.  The anticipation is building.

Spa-day...

...in preparation for puppy-day. 

She has a spiffy new do that retains all of her charm and personality and not so much stinky dog food and water.  Also, she can see without hair in her eyes which she seems to enjoy.  Her hind quarters have been trimmed up and cleaned as well.  The funny effect is that with that coat, a stumpy tail, and pendulous teats she looks like a very tiny nanny goat from behind.  I will spare her the indignity of having it photographed.  I may be personifying or projecting here, but no girl wants a picture of her full-term rear view.

Dear Mama-To-Be,

This photo is from before your belly was as big as yourself.  Could you have imagined carrying around a pregnancy that doubled your size?  My third just felt like it (ok...and sort of looked like it too).  All my love and sympathy, sweet girl.  No wonder I love you already.  I think we have so much in common.  I hear you are not so fond of being covered with parasites either.  I am thrilled to be playing the role of assistant midwife.  After the terrible situation you were found in you deserve the most spa-like delivery I can put together.  I even found some CD I was given during my first pregnancy.  I'll put it on for you while I give you a massage.  It won't make a difference during the delivery.  Nothing will.  But afterwards, when you have forgotten the pain of it and are enjoying the noises suckling pups make, you will remember that someone loved you enough to help in any way she could think of.

Nesting Behavior

Dr. Fancypants is bring a VERY pregnant dog with her when she comes to town for work!  I am busy preparing for the mama and puppies that she is likely to deliver at our house!!!

And I mean that in a good way.   

I know that I have mentioned this before, but I have been accused (by loving friends) of practicing Veterinary Medicine without a license.  Whelping pups will be like I have died and gone to heaven.

Will definitely update with pics.